May 20, 2023

A Letter to Mengmeng:

“My spring and the warm sunshine arrived too quickly, too hastily, catching me off guard. In the blink of an eye, it’s already early summer, soon to enter the peak of summer. Indeed, I still very much like summer. Summer can bring many wonderful things and also happiness.

Mengmeng and I have been together for over a month now, but it feels like we’ve known each other for a very long time. This period has been very hectic, to the extent that I haven’t had time to write records. Every day passes so fulfilling, to the point where I can’t remember my dark and humid side, nor can I recall the times I lived in embarrassment.”

Above excerpt from my monthly diary.

I often have a feeling that I’ve already said everything I want to say to you, I’ve poured out all my thoughts to you, and for a moment, I can’t think of anything creative to make you happy. On one hand, I worry that I’m already an expired product, and on the other hand, I do feel tired recently, which has diminished many rituals and surprises for Mengmeng. But I always believe that these are temporary, ’there will be bread, there will be everything.’ Indeed, I’m drawing big dreams again.

It’s not exactly drawing dreams, it’s just that when we feel there’s a bright future ahead, we feel that what we’re doing is meaningful, when we believe that our future life can be very good, we can endure the present pain, somewhat like ‘quenching thirst by looking at a plum,’ or a bit like drawing dreams to alleviate hunger, but regardless, it has indeed caused a lot of missing for Mengmeng.

I don’t really like shopping with my mom because when I was a child, whenever I found something I wanted, she would refuse me and tell me not to buy it. Over time, I lost interest and gradually lost the desire to shop. As I grew up, I gradually understood her past difficulties, but still felt uncomfortable. I hope that one day, we can confidently take away every item in the store that we fancy, without first looking at its price tag.

That day will come, and it will come very soon. Happy 520, my darling!