May 14, 2023 My spring and the warm sunshine arrived too quickly, too hastily, catching me off guard. In the blink of an eye, it’s already early summer, soon to enter the peak of summer. Indeed, I still very much like summer. Summer can bring many wonderful things and also happiness. Mengmeng and I have been together for over a month now, but it feels like we’ve known each other for a very long time....

March 20, 2023 “I should set off, there’s still so much to do.” I always anticipate setting off, yet the path beneath my feet remains unchanged. It seems like I’ve been contemplating for a long, long time, pulling myself out countless times only to push myself back in, constantly looking back at the light while walking towards the abyss. Perhaps to others, it appears more like a kind of silent groaning, more like self-degradation....

March 12, 2023 “Nothing is impossible; the capacity for self-deception is infinite.” Suddenly, I wonder, why should I burden every day of my current life with the unknowns of the next 30 years? To eat the next meal well, to do the next task well, to walk each step well, to witness each sunrise accurately. Specifically, it’s about eating what’s in the bowl, doing what needs to be done, walking the path beneath my feet, and enjoying whether it’s sunset or dusk, sunrise or nightfall....

12th day of the first month of the year Gui Mao Commemorating the Departure of a Loved One I usually wake up around nine o’clock in the morning. At that time, sunlight would filter into my bedroom through two layers of windows. Yes, I sleep naked and don’t pull the curtains. In the early morning, or more precisely, in the morning, when I’m not fully awake, I seem to regress to my childhood: I used to worry about things that rarely happened, such as feeling like it’s the end of the world or fearing that my mother, who seemed frail, would leave me one day....

Saturday, January 28, 2023 Recent Conversations with My Uncle Recently, I’ve had many conversations with my uncle. Since childhood, my uncle and aunt have actually taken care of me a lot. I remember when I was young and got into trouble, my uncle and aunt were always there to intervene. Despite this, over the years, there hasn’t been much opportunity for extensive communication with them. Even during annual visits for Chinese New Year, it’s always brief and perfunctory, as if just going through the motions....